You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
