yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
We need to rekindle our bromance
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
