It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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