It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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