I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
