We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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