The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
