So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
