It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
