Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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