By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize