if i can run in heels then i can drive
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Also, beer. Big fan.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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