Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
