I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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