Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
