they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
