now i know why i became what i already was.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
