I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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