Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I am naked and annoyed.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
