i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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