I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
