escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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