don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize