ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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