CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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