Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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