so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
