shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
