I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
