So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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