wat bout pragnant strippers??
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
