honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
