RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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