Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
The beers last night were like the tears from god
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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