Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
