Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
