oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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