im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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