plz talk dirty to me
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
