"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Sex in the backyard? Check.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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