I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just gargled with NyQuil
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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