Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
So much Jack, so little girl.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
