and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
there is puke in my bra ... again
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