Soap is not a condiment
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
