I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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