He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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