piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
