I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i wish my penis had a tongue
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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