I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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