So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
