i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
