I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
