Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
