What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
