I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
