make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
