East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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