The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
