i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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