As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
The beer is more important than you right now.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
